Thoughts seldom spoken

On the occasion of Mother's Day, I wrote a small piece for my mother. My mother understands Tamil better. So though I wrote it in English first, I felt the Tamil one has its own beauty.. Mother is like the air that we breath.. Always present and we take her for granted 'My mother is the best cook in the whole world' A statement that is true to every child's heart Mother is the definition of unconditional love the only expectation being our well being The guaranteed person who can never hate us even when we put the worst of us forth Her anger subsides for our tears like the boiling milk subsides for a sprinkle of water "You will never understand unless you become a mother" Resounds every time at all the occasions when it occurs to me now I humbly thank the graceful Goddess for giving me such a precious mother and the opportunity to be a mother Savinayam tava pāvana mahāshakti roope dhanyavādah (anugṛhitāsmi) सविनयं तव पावन...

Why am I writing it now? I have been postponing nearly 7 years to write this post. Recently, a friend, a mother of 1.5 year old child casually said "she will not restrict her child in her food and will let her eat what she chooses" and I was flabbergasted. I knew my opinion may not be appropriate in that conversation. But it reminded me I should write about it. All the lifestyle changes I incorporated were based upon the advices and opinions that came from public sources where some chose to write about it. So I thought maybe this might help someone whom I might know or not, but would value it someday. What triggered this question? Way back in 2012, when I was pregnant I decided to be a responsible mother and that led me to choose what is best for me and my to-be child. That led me to discover varieties of millets, traditional rices, organic milk, organic food benefits and the ill effects of white polished rice, white sugar, etc. I knew before pregnancy about the ill ef...

Right from the beginning, I felt adoption is the right thing to do. But when I saw that so many parents are waiting and those could be with no child, I felt conflicted on whether I deserve to. Whether it is fair on me to be in the list. I had written two blog posts on the above. The desire to adopt vs the question of being fair remained an unresolved conflict. Many days I had been fighting to resolve this conflict. During my yearly Guru Poornima Pooja offering to Sadhguru, I put forth this turmoil while tears rolled during his Presence. Felt a lot lighter after putting it forth to my guru. To my utter surprise, the next day morning, I got a SMS. "Congratulations! Profile of child/children have been referred. Kindly reserve within 48 hours ..." From CARA. Out of disbelief, I pinched myself to ensure I was not dreaming. Next moment, I was in cloud 9 calling my husband, best friend, family and my heart would not stop fluttering. I spent sleepless nights awaiting for the ...

I had earlier wrote a post on "Why adopt the second child?" with certain notions of social responsibility towards our overpopulation and the solution with being inclusive. I experimented all that I said in the post and should say it isn't a success. However friendly my daughter was with other kids, there is a glass wall. I understood practically that no friend could give the companionship that a sibling who grows in the same family could possibly give. When the child yearns for a sibling, I found it impossible to explain social responsibility towards overpopulation. I realized the need to have a second child. So as per my previous post thinking adoption would help another child as well make us socially responsible, we applied for adoption more than a year ago. After applying for adoption in CARA, patiently waited for the home visit. During the home visit, I was asked why you had chosen anywhere in India. How do you think you can view him/her as your own child if the chi...

When I was catching up with an old friend we discussed about the China's relaxation on one child policy. It was so awful reading about stories of forced abortions and induced still borns. The sad stories of the unregistered second children not having official status or even possibility for education, career, marriage was overwhelming. Forcing the whole population to have one child for a decade and then now saying "two child is ok" is pretty intrusive. To look everything from an economic growth point of view is pretty obscene. To have one child or two should be the couple's choice and right. It is one thing to create an awareness and educate the population in the constraints of natural resources and imbalance in nature (overpopulation leads to deforestation), but completely another to punish them for  non-adherence. It is the family's choice to have one or two based on their personal and economic needs and constraints. It is a direct human rights violation t...

One of my friend forwarded a message about the pressure on studies which had affected the son and father's relation. I understand that if the forward is true, Sujatha had written that in his biography inorder to state the issue of childhood trauma caused due to constant pressure to study and score marks. However that message also justifies the son's action, which I feel is the wrong approach. This spun to a discussion among my friends and one of my friend stated that "Childhood experiences matter the most in anyone's life. Nobody chooses to detach, it just happens. What impressions the innocent child got, stays in his mind fresh and it is very dangerously strong. That part of the brain operates beyond logic".   I agree on the part that emotions beat logic especially in childhood and it is nearly impossible to uproot the hatred that the oppression had created. It is true until the point you become a parent yourself. But the moment you become a parent there is a r...

In my 8 years of marriage, there had been numerous situations where I feel awkward to explain my view on last names. But something inside me boils when they call me Mrs. Vagmi. First of all, it amuses me because Vagmi is a unique name which could be used for a woman also. So if it is a friend, I would joke saying "sorry my husband is a man and you should be calling him Mr.." First of all it is very absurd to use one person's first name to use as someone else's last name.  At Tamil Nadu, (India), there is no concept of first name and last name at all. There is only one name which is the given name. So to blindly adhere to the British system, they took the first names of their husband and attached to the wife's. The first name or the only name of the father and attached it to the son or daughter. Now as per western tradition, you call people by their last name and Mr or Miss. Since this credit card callers are trained in that tradition, they will call and ask ...